Reflecting on 2015

Setting your intention is KEY!! And so I believe it is important to take a moment to reflect on our lives, what has mattered most, and what direction we're heading in as we move into a new year. 

2015 was such a transformative time for me, I accomplished things I never knew possible, but also learned the importance of modesty and balance.... I learned that perfectionism is the antithesis of life, because if you let your ideals constrict your actions, you miss out on the most valuable opportunities. I learned (and am still learning) that to truly open myself to others, and be vulnerable - also means setting boundaries that embrace my values and protect my mental health.

These days I am filled with a happiness I haven't felt for years, and I am so proud of myself for reaching this positive and secure place. From being back in school, I'm seeing that I'm definitely worthy and CAPABLE of creating my own destiny and steering my life in the direction of my dreams. And I am so thankful for the people in Jamaica, Vancouver, and my family and friends around the world, who support me and build me up through every transition I make to get there. 

2016 is looking sooo incredibly promising, and Im very excited for the opportunities, challenges, lessons, and experiences that lie ahead, the people I will share them with, and all the unexpected ripples that this journey will create. My mission is to embrace it all with complete OPENNESS. 

That being said. Second semester back in art school starts this week and I am moree thann readyy to focus on my practice and paint my guts out. 2016 - Bringggg onnn the good, the bad, the crazy and the ugly! I can just feel those creative juices flowing already ;)

 

New year, me dis. 

Happy Monday & all the best for the year ahead !


Selected poems

Eye of the storm
shattered

 

30/08/15 - Hourglass

 

Alone in the desert, her dream fades

A mirage. 

She seeks refuge -

Its sucks her in

To the passage of desolation,

Where time shifts

..

From sand dune..

 To sand dune..

..

Hot shot of whiskey

shots

06/04/15 - Wakefulness

 

Wakefulness

Like a hot shot of whiskey

And a slap in the face.

 

Moments so acutely felt

As Bliss.

Are also Insanity -

Because they're full exposure, for an instant.

 

The beauty is striking.

But I find, it is the longing,

The tingling,

The susceptibility,

Once the moment is over -

That truly hurts.

 

Echoing

...Feels something like ultra withdrawals

06/04/15. Still echoing at 4:00 am 

 

Sometimes i hear my voice as a muffled tone,

White noise, 

Or worse - just an echo;

Its such a sleepy sound.

 

CAN I CRANK IT UP?!

TO THE LEVELS OF TRANCELIKE MUSIC

So I FEEL IT. PULSATING IN MY BONES

SO LOUD.

 

ITS SHAKING ME.

WAKING ME.

 

That ecstasy

Was making me something.

Out of nothing :-

Waking feelings

I never knew I had.

 

First, self-love.

12/03/2015

I feel like I'm ascending and my ego is screaming who do you think you are to dwell so high above the rest?! Why does my ego think I'm higher? How do I come down without losing myself to the masses? How do I ascend without leaving those I love? I just want to be here. To be me. To show that we can all rise up. To show that we can all just elevate, as one.

combustion in the sky

So much combustion. Too much emotion. When will the clouds clear out?

ignited

 

03/04/2015 ~ Soul, Ignited

I can kinkdle the candle of your heart

And open the vacuum of your sealed soul -

Scrap that tender shit.

Your soul is the one object of my desire,

The fuel that gives rise to my fire;

When I let you in, I can ignite you

As I combust all the love that can possibly be into spontaneous existence.

 


I'll meet you on the horizon.

10/04/2015 – Soul Wreck, Set Sail

 I was a soul wreck

Until cast to your shore -

You showed me I was safe,

But I must set sail and leave you,

To find my way back home.

 

I trust, sometime, someday after I've conquered this feat, we'll meet again. And I'll be free to sail off - with you - forever on the horizon.

Torment better pay the bills

Art, to me, is not just about an image - but an experience. Paintings and Poetry by Becky Levy. I held out for a while because these pieces create a whole different vibrational effect as a group than each piece would standing alone...

Turn up your speakers! The whole Art-by-Becky-Levy-experience is now amplified!

Read and see for yourself :)

Read More

Zennn outt - how to namaslay your day.

It's going to be impossible to top last weekends Soulful Sunday post, so I decided to loosen it up a bit instead. This week, I'm sharing my playful approach to a habit I recently adopted: meditation aka zennningg outt. I've seen so many benefits from this habit, I had to share how you can do the same too.


Namaslay each day by learning to zennn the fuck outt! This post is a light and non-spiritual read on meditation. ((Suitable for ALL Normal Earthlings))

#zennnnout #meditationfornormalearthlings
 

Read More

Playing with fire...

I'm sorry if it burned.

dancingflame

02/27/2015. Dancing flame
Oh dancing flame,
That eradicated the chamber to my soul,
Can I reach out and touch you?

Or will you just burn out,
The instant my flame tries to join you in a dance?

I don’t wish to destroy you. Scald you. End you.
I don’t wish to turn you cold.

                                     So I’ll just burn here ~
                            Like the dancing flame I am ~
                                            Dancing on my own ~

The end of war.

 

T H E   W A R   O N   A R T  

& T H E   A R T  O F   T R A N S C E N D E N C E  

 

While everyone is busy graduating this year, I am still fighting to reach the end of my own journey. You see, for the past few semesters I’ve experienced an ironically unconventional form of education…

It’s called life. But for me, life was depression… And not the type where you’re sad for a few days, but type of depression that makes you dread waking up.

Because waking up means seeing, 

not the sun -

but who you are;

Facing your enormous

exhausting battle to live – 

to survive – a warrior ! 

but s u f f e r as a shielded artist.

 

Depression was my self-inflicted war FOR ART!

And I survived a warrior -

With shame, and dishonour.                                                    - 19/02/15

 

But as a warrior, I fought tirelessly against everything I could not allow myself to be and finally, in doing so, learnt self-acceptance… I was an artist who feared rejection, like death. So as a warrior, in battle with depression – my every conception of truth, survival, and learned mechanisms for protection against fear – had to burn.

Defiant self-love, for example was the mechanism that once saved me from ultimate lows when I could hardly get out of bed. It was a defensive act to prove I was strong not insecure.  But my refusal to admit I was broken, only caused me to suffer the consequences of denial. I partied recklessly to prove I was carefree – drunk myself to stupidity, only to wake up sick – with guilt. Rather than supporting my family by suffering with them, I showed them abandonment. I was a disgraceful daughter – the drunk depressed drop out –  one more damaged person to worry about – no warrior. My bruised ego fought AGAIN to survive the shame.

I moulded myself into a new identity of health, wellness and strength in attempt to conceal my insecurity through glorification. I obsessed with becoming a personal trainer, only to quit the job after a few days because finally, I accepted my truth.

To survive a warrior, was to die an artist. No job title, lifestyle, or surface appearance of happiness could ever conceal the shame of shielding my most authentic voice out of fear of rejection. I had to reveal I was weak, and heal in order to live my truth. 

So I returned home, to witness my father deteriorate with dementia, and face my mother whose obvious resentment of dad’s illness was a perceived threat on me. I practiced openness to vulnerability and humility when ‘under attack’ from mom's rage by taking a breath to remember they too, are suffering. This ability to respond to my parents from a space of understanding is non-reaction. It dissolves the expectations of the ego and immediately heals all wounds. Although not as pleasant as the memories of my childhood, I now recognize these family obligations are not burdens, but opportunities to show support, and gratitude for - pain - my family's undeniable bond of love. 

As humans we have been cultured to control outcomes of our day to day lives for future security, and we make adjustments to our behaviours based on feelings of comfort, discomfort, hunger, satisfaction, necessity. The problem arises when we reject the negative experiences, fighting the opportunity presented to us to match the experience we want. When, in reality, discomfort is a sign we MUST accept the circumstance as is, transcend expectations of reality, and evolve in the way intended for us.

 

"Our suffering was never the pain we felt,

but the distance we created

when we failed to make sense of ourselves."

 

I have always believed in something more profound - that there's a blissful state of being only living our soul purpose can provide. I'm reconnecting with that spirit. So I'm sorry if sometimes I seem withdrawn. Dormant forces in my soul are awakening for release, and I am no longer running from them. By claiming << this >> space I'm surrendering to the healing process, the end of war.

 Peace. xx (Day One)


P O E  T  R Y  ///  A  F  F  I  R  M  A  T  I  O  N  S  

 

25/01/15

It is the reckless intimacy of my soul to undress itself

To reveal itself carelessly onto others

 

Stripped down naked,

to just an essence –

 

I stand before you,

Honouring all that I am


20/02/2015

As I disarm my ‘self’ – the warrior

To reveal my soul – the artist

I honour God through fearless activism

For art – not war – I stand

Unarmed - For truth - in face of death      

 

The art of transcendence is my ongoing lesson of:

willingness to abandon my expectations of reality,

humility to surrender in perceived war

commitment to creative potential and

authentic expression - for self-actualization in its purest form.

 

 

Meaningful-less-mess

I have this thing for organic textures and fluidity so I'm throwing all my usual techniques out the door to try accomplish this look.

Sneak peaks at a current work in progress. Many more layers/ days of drying to go until this baby is complete.

Meaningful?

Meaningful less

Meaningful mess?

Or just Meaningful - less mess?